23rd Annual Lake Lucerne Bottle Rocket Week and War

The week started off cold and fortless. By the week's end, two castles, molded from the cold white clay that blanketed Lake Lucerne, would grow from the ice.

The wall forms that have served us so well over the past decade were unfurled. At the waving of the green form, the race was on to finish the forts before the first rockets flew.

There was a bit of paint trading between shovels and forms but wall construction was largely crash free.

It was colder than usual during the entire engineering exercise. At the end of each day, shovels, form bits and the dead were piled on the side before we headed back to the bar for cookies and hot chocolate.

On the ground, there were signs that northwoods creatures were about and thriving. Square toed Birkebeiners are common as are the larger and louder ski-doogers and artic-catirrles.

On Saturday, the last wall was done.

The North fort had a dual Krispa class launcher, polycarbonate window, and a chair on the West end plus an unopened igloo kit in the east wing.

The west side also boasted a partial wrap around wind wall (PWAWW) to ensure optimum fuse lighting conditions.

This is the second year an armored window has been used. The increase in accuracy, safety, and mirth for the shooter now makes this feature standard.

The South fort had three launchers, some icicle spikes, extra ablative snow armor and an entire wrap around wind wall (EWAWW).

The dual tubes of the South had some additional plexiglass protection.

The South's other tube had a blast deflector and was well sighted in.

The first shots on the North fort hit the window. Others flew through the launch tube opening and exploded inside the fort. Only the careful placement of the North's rocket magazines prevented a disastrously comical end of this year's conflict.

The 14+ inches of snow between forts transformed the normally dreaded "skip shot" into snow muffled plunks.

At the lighting of the first fuse, the air was an un-fiery -12°F. It did not change much during the entire 90 minute, 3000+ rocket match.

I fought on the side of the North and will testify to the accuracy of all three of the South's tubes.

The North's fire was occasionally on target but aiming bottle rockets is neither a skill nor an art. It really comes down to blind luck.

Snow walls, preventing the skillful and artful but mostly lucky "crotch shot" since 1992.

Patches of red spines covered areas of both forts like botched hairplugs on a red headed, balding guy. Clearly this was one of the best bottle rockets wars ever.

This year's Bottle Rocket War is in the books. All that's left is the great stick pickup and ice-out, which we'll bet won't occur next week. All of this year's ordnance was obtained from the friendly people at Uncle Sam's Fireworks in Green Bay. The Uncle has given us good service and a few free goggles over the years. There was little time during the week to get a lake ice thickness check so there is none. Ice, snow and other winter metrics will be included in next week's summary. Until then, start thinking of an ice-out date, check the level in your propane tank, and try to keep warm.

-Nemo, picking up them sticks all next week.

23rd Annual Lake Lucerne Bottle Rocket Week and War

January 21 through 27 (War held on the 25th at 7:00 PM CST)